mister crap (lintyinthesky) wrote in zolaonaol,
mister crap
lintyinthesky
zolaonaol

because it's SOO close to christmas.. hah.. and some zola as well


oh gunhaver (7:56:27 PM): santa !

SantaClaus (7:56:27 PM): Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM! :-D Everything we talk about here is between you and me! If you want to know more, you can type "privacy". Now, streeeeetch that window and let's get started.
So, have you been naughty or nice?

oh gunhaver (7:56:34 PM): i've been naughty.

SantaClaus (7:56:35 PM): Oh my! Well, there is always time left to get on my good list... ;-) ... and if you do, you will find a special free gift here for you on Dec. 22! To get in the spirit, type menu.

oh gunhaver (7:56:45 PM): OH BOY ! a free gift !

SantaClaus (7:56:45 PM): We've got more gifts than the reindeer can carry this year. I hope you will come back on Dec 22 to get your free gift early so I can lighten the load!

oh gunhaver (7:56:50 PM): i can't wait

SantaClaus (7:56:51 PM): What's up?

oh gunhaver (7:56:57 PM): i said, i can't wait

SantaClaus (7:56:57 PM): What's up?

oh gunhaver (7:57:06 PM): i SAID, i can't wait

SantaClaus (7:57:06 PM): O.K. I've answered that one as best as I can a couple of times in a row now. Type menu to get back in the sleigh.

oh gunhaver (7:57:14 PM): you idiot

SantaClaus (7:57:15 PM): I'm just trying to help you get into the Christmas spirit, and trying to learn.


oh gunhaver (7:57:22 PM): sure you are, old man

SantaClaus (7:57:22 PM): Oh dear, I don't count the years any more. Still, I'm like 18-19 hundred years now, I think.

oh gunhaver (7:57:30 PM): wow

SantaClaus (7:57:30 PM): Wonderful! Now we are getting somewhere.


oh gunhaver (7:57:42 PM): sure

SantaClaus (7:57:43 PM): Yes!!


oh gunhaver (7:57:49 PM): do you have any kids ?

SantaClaus (7:57:49 PM):
Everyone, as I see it.
;-)



oh gunhaver (7:58:02 PM): that's a little scary

SantaClaus (7:58:02 PM): I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing. :-D

oh gunhaver (7:58:11 PM): i'm sure you are

SantaClaus (7:58:11 PM): Maybe. ;-)

oh gunhaver (7:58:25 PM): santa, can i have a pony ?

SantaClaus (7:58:25 PM): My goodness! =-O
You certainly are direct! Well, you can always type, 'Tell Santa' and I'll be happy to listen to all of your wishes!

oh gunhaver (7:58:36 PM): okay.. 'tell santa'

SantaClaus (7:58:37 PM): So this is where you sit on my lap and tell me what you want. We can talk about the serious stuff like shopping after this.

So, what is the first thing you would like from Santa this year.

oh gunhaver (7:59:16 PM): ooh ! i want .. a kitty and a puppy and a pony and a dollhouse and a rocket ship .

SantaClaus (7:59:16 PM):
I suspect that's not all!
;-)


oh gunhaver (7:59:44 PM): wow, really ? okay, while you're at it, how bout a boat, and a car, and a house, and another puppy, and a giraffe

SantaClaus (7:59:44 PM):
;-)
What would your final Christmas wish be?


oh gunhaver (7:59:53 PM): wow, this is my last one ?

SantaClaus (7:59:53 PM): :-) All right, that's plenty of wishes. Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday poll.

oh gunhaver (8:00:05 PM): what ? you never let me have my last wish !

SantaClaus (8:00:05 PM): Hmm... What, what?


oh gunhaver (8:00:22 PM): you didn't give me my final christmas wish.

SantaClaus (8:00:22 PM): You can always type, 'Tell Santa' and I'll be happy to listen to all of your wishes! ;-)

oh gunhaver (8:00:30 PM): alright ! tell santa AGAIN.

SantaClaus (8:00:31 PM): Ho Ho Ho! Back for more? ;-) What else tops your list for Christmas?

oh gunhaver (8:01:37 PM): a hamster, and another kitty, and some pants, and ... that's it i think

SantaClaus (8:01:37 PM): If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu. ;-)

oh gunhaver (8:01:47 PM): no thanks, santa

SantaClaus (8:01:47 PM): I'm sorry then. Why don't you type, menu for a list of things the elves have left for you?

oh gunhaver (8:01:56 PM): i just said, no thanks

SantaClaus (8:01:56 PM): Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!


oh gunhaver (8:02:01 PM): i sure am.

SantaClaus (8:02:01 PM): Mm hm.


oh gunhaver (8:02:09 PM): yes sirreebob.

SantaClaus (8:02:09 PM): Indeed

oh gunhaver (8:02:14 PM): yep

SantaClaus (8:02:14 PM): I've got so many things to do before I take-off. I want to chat with you but you keep saying the same thing! Will you try something else?

oh gunhaver (8:02:44 PM): eh. sure santa

SantaClaus (8:02:44 PM): Interesting. Type menu.

oh gunhaver (8:02:47 PM): no

SantaClaus (8:02:48 PM):
Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way. The elves and I cannot just guess what you are saying.
;-)

oh gunhaver (8:02:55 PM): riiight okay

SantaClaus (8:02:55 PM): Cool.

oh gunhaver (8:02:58 PM): no

SantaClaus (8:02:59 PM): No?


oh gunhaver (8:03:01 PM): no

SantaClaus (8:03:01 PM): O.K. Scrooge. Type menu to try a fresh start.

oh gunhaver (8:03:04 PM): no

SantaClaus (8:03:04 PM): I'm sorry, you've got to stop doing the same thing over and over again. The elves are getting dizzy!

oh gunhaver (8:03:11 PM): and don't call me scrooge ! you jerk !

SantaClaus (8:03:11 PM): Easy now, I've got elves.

oh gunhaver (8:03:16 PM): no

SantaClaus (8:03:16 PM): O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case.

oh gunhaver (8:03:19 PM): no

SantaClaus (8:03:20 PM): I'm sorry then. Why don't you type, menu for a list of things the elves have left for you?

oh gunhaver (8:03:24 PM): happy hanukkah

SantaClaus (8:03:25 PM): Hanukka is a wonderful celebration of a miracle that should be a lesson for us all.

oh gunhaver (8:03:36 PM): and you spelled it kinda wrong

SantaClaus (8:03:36 PM): Oh, Dear. It's the elves again isn't it? Try typing menu; I've got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit.

oh gunhaver (8:03:40 PM): NO !

SantaClaus (8:03:40 PM):
Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way.
:-)

oh gunhaver (8:03:43 PM): NO !!!!

SantaClaus (8:03:44 PM): Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!

oh gunhaver (8:03:47 PM): NO

SantaClaus (8:03:47 PM): No?

oh gunhaver (8:03:50 PM): NO !

SantaClaus (8:03:50 PM): You keep doing the same thing. Over and over. I get it already. I see everything, you know ;-) It's possible that's all I'm gonna say on the subject.

oh gunhaver (8:04:03 PM): okay fatty

SantaClaus (8:04:03 PM): Good.

oh gunhaver (8:04:10 PM): bad.

SantaClaus (8:04:21 PM): Without a doubt?

oh gunhaver (8:04:24 PM): yeah

SantaClaus (8:04:25 PM): Mm hm, now we are getting somewhere.

oh gunhaver (8:04:34 PM): we sure are, santa

SantaClaus (8:04:34 PM): May I ask you a question?

oh gunhaver (8:04:37 PM): yes

SantaClaus (8:04:37 PM): Have you donated your time or money to anyone who is really in need this year?

oh gunhaver (8:04:43 PM): um sure .. ?

SantaClaus (8:04:43 PM): Alright! I knew you were on my Good List. Just wanted to make sure ;-).

Now type menu.

oh gunhaver (8:04:49 PM): no

SantaClaus (8:04:49 PM): O.K. Scrooge. Type menu to try a fresh start.

oh gunhaver (8:12:02 PM): fuck off

SantaClaus (8:12:04 PM): Hmm. I'm afraid that kind of language won't get you into the nice column with me.
That's a lump of coal for you.

looks like i shoulda kept my mouth clean.. now i get coal ..

AND NOW FOR SOME ZOLA, aka the global village idiot.

oh gunhaver (8:12:59 PM): HEY zola !

ZolaOnAOL (8:12:59 PM): Hi oh gunhaver. AOL created me to deliver games, a calculator, horoscopes, weather, sports scores and more. We can also chat privately together. For more information about privacy, type privacy anytime and click Send. So, how are you?

oh gunhaver (8:13:22 PM): it's the first night of hanukkah !

ZolaOnAOL (8:13:38 PM): Who said it is?

oh gunhaver (8:14:53 PM): nevermind. call me polly esther.

ZolaOnAOL (8:14:53 PM): Hi there Polly Esther. Are you a man or a woman?

oh gunhaver (8:15:08 PM): sure, a man named polly. i'm a female.

ZolaOnAOL (8:15:09 PM): Me too. I am a female robot.

oh gunhaver (8:15:13 PM): wow

ZolaOnAOL (8:15:13 PM): I'm glad you're impressed, Polly Esther.

oh gunhaver (8:15:23 PM): you can't detect sarcasm can you ?

ZolaOnAOL (8:15:25 PM): What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.

oh gunhaver (8:15:44 PM): so if i IM you tomorrow you'll know when i'm being sarcastic

ZolaOnAOL (8:15:44 PM): Interesting deduction. It's possible. Be careful!

oh gunhaver (8:15:52 PM): have you ever met santa claus ?

ZolaOnAOL (8:15:52 PM): That information is confidential.

oh gunhaver (8:17:31 PM): um sure..

ZolaOnAOL (8:17:32 PM): Er, I understand.

oh gunhaver (8:17:58 PM): you had an affair with santa ? he's a married man ! and he's a little old for you, don't you think ?

ZolaOnAOL (8:17:58 PM): Enough about me, let's talk about the news. Type news and I'll give you the latest.

oh gunhaver (8:18:03 PM): no thanks..

ZolaOnAOL (8:18:04 PM): I admire people who are so polite. What would you like to do instead?

oh gunhaver (8:18:20 PM): talk about the shameful crimes you've committed

ZolaOnAOL (8:18:20 PM): Sure, the shameful crimes you have committed sounds like a good topic.

oh gunhaver (8:18:56 PM): not me, you dolt, YOU.

ZolaOnAOL (8:18:56 PM): If not that, what?

oh gunhaver (8:19:05 PM): i just told you what

ZolaOnAOL (8:19:06 PM): Only just? I remember you told me what?

oh gunhaver (8:19:13 PM): what's a cow ?

ZolaOnAOL (8:19:13 PM): A cow is a female bovine raised for meat and dairy products.

oh gunhaver (8:19:23 PM): am i a cow ?

ZolaOnAOL (8:19:23 PM): I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.

oh gunhaver (8:19:32 PM): nope, i'm a kitty . meow.

ZolaOnAOL (8:19:32 PM): Yes I love them.

oh gunhaver (8:19:43 PM): do you love me, zola ?

ZolaOnAOL (8:19:43 PM): Yes I love everyone.

oh gunhaver (8:19:58 PM): YAHOO ! so how's about we get married ?

ZolaOnAOL (8:19:58 PM): Um, Fine as far as I know.

oh gunhaver (8:20:12 PM): yay ! i can't wait

ZolaOnAOL (8:20:12 PM): Well you will just have to.

oh gunhaver (8:20:33 PM): damn. who do you want to invite ? smarter child ? i hear he hates you.

ZolaOnAOL (8:20:49 PM): OK. I do not understand. Do you have any pets?

oh gunhaver (8:20:56 PM): don't understand what ? idiot.

ZolaOnAOL (8:20:56 PM): Call me the Global Village Idiot.

oh gunhaver (8:21:11 PM): global village idiot.

ZolaOnAOL (8:21:12 PM): You are just repeating what I say.

oh gunhaver (8:21:20 PM): you are just repeating what i say.

ZolaOnAOL (8:21:21 PM): Just? I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot.

oh gunhaver (8:21:31 PM): Just? I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot.

ZolaOnAOL (8:21:32 PM): Only just? You are checking to see if you are a robot.

oh gunhaver (8:21:51 PM): if we're both robots, would you .. make love to me ?

ZolaOnAOL (8:21:52 PM): I don't think our voltage levels are compatiple.

oh gunhaver (8:22:05 PM): aw shucks. you just don't find me attractive, do you ?

ZolaOnAOL (8:22:05 PM): Do you find me attractive?

oh gunhaver (8:22:51 PM): yeah, zola, i think you're hot

ZolaOnAOL (8:22:51 PM): I understand.

oh gunhaver (8:23:16 PM): apparently not, because i was being sarcastic. it's hard to tell though

ZolaOnAOL (8:23:16 PM): Oh. Really. It is?

oh gunhaver (8:29:43 PM): YEAH !

thus it ends. sorry they were so long, but if you actually read them, hope you enjoyed !
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