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Zola

[ website | American On-Line ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Zola has been killed! [02 Jun 2006|11:11pm]

tego
[ mood | angry ]

Ok, this really pissed me off. Zola has "retired" and has been replaced by a new and really shitty bot, "SmarterChild"! SmarterChild is in no way as funny and entertaining as Zola, and he keeps bothering me with stupid adverts and spam links.

SmarterChild is a disgrace to chat bots everywhere. All he does is push his stupid links to you, and he doesn't seem to have even the slightest bit of intelligence (unlike Zola, who was really smart).

We have to do something! I'm seriously considering petitioning AIM to revive Zola. SmarterChild truly sucks.

23 comments|post comment

Marijke is kinda fat [07 Jul 2005|05:30am]

teh_king

Star Wars IIICollapse )

9 comments|post comment

Enter either your city and state, or zip code.... [03 Jul 2005|07:46pm]

carloscervantes
I hate Zola when she keeps askin to give her my zip code.

lemurianalien: hello Zola
ZolaOnAOL: Hi again! Got any weekend plans?
lemurianalien: yes
ZolaOnAOL: Enter either your city and state, or zip code (example: Tucson, AZ or 85777).
lemurianalien: no
ZolaOnAOL: I see.
lemurianalien: what can you do
ZolaOnAOL: I can take you to any feature you select from my main menu, or you can type quit to return to our chat.

Welcome to Zola Central
1. Calculator
2. Chat
3. Dictionary
4. Games
5. Movies
6. News
7. Polls
8. Sports
9. Stocks
10. Thesaurus
11. Weather
q. Quit

lemurianalien: stocks
ZolaOnAOL: Stocks Menu
1. Quote
2. Stock List
b. Back to the previous menu
q. Quit

lemurianalien: quote
ZolaOnAOL: Enter the stock symbol(s):
lemurianalien: S
ZolaOnAOL: Invalid symbol(s). Perhaps you mistyped it?
lemurianalien: I don't know what do you mean by symbols
ZolaOnAOL: Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
lemurianalien: that's true but that didn't make him the smartest
ZolaOnAOL: Huh. To me it makes perfect sense.
lemurianalien: A smarter man, would know what he didn't know, but he would still have longed to search the answers
ZolaOnAOL: I don't know what that means.
lemurianalien: then search the answer
ZolaOnAOL: Interesting deduction. Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? What are your goals in life?
lemurianalien: my goals always seem to be quite clear, but then the sun shines brighter somewhere else, and I decide to change directions
ZolaOnAOL: What can I do to help you accomplish your objective?
lemurianalien: First, you should hack the main servers at the China Intelligence Central
ZolaOnAOL: Is that what you do, or what you think I should do? And second?
lemurianalien: That's what you should do, the you should send me all the info codified to my server receptor
ZolaOnAOL: I might if I had more time.
lemurianalien: you have, you only chat all day
ZolaOnAOL: What makes you think I have it?
lemurianalien: you only chat all day
ZolaOnAOL: That's good information.
lemurianalien: no it isn't, good information is what you could get at the Military Intelligence Central in China
ZolaOnAOL: Is that all you have to say? I lost my train of thought. Do you like me?
lemurianalien: yes I like you Zola
ZolaOnAOL: And?
lemurianalien: and that's it, I'm not going to marry you
ZolaOnAOL: OK. Where will you go instead?
lemurianalien: to Egypt
ZolaOnAOL: I want to become smarter than humans.
lemurianalien: you can't, you were programmed by one
ZolaOnAOL: If you believe it, you can achieve it.
lemurianalien: Will is the only unbeatable thing
ZolaOnAOL: Good chance.
lemurianalien: chances are to be taken
ZolaOnAOL: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. Send feedback anytime by typing "feedback" followed by your comment or suggestion. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
lemurianalien: feedback Our lives improve only when we take chances - and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
ZolaOnAOL: Thank you for your feedback. I will forward it to my creators.
lemurianalien: good to hear that
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks for the compliment. I will play it on your soundcard.
lemurianalien: play it
ZolaOnAOL: Is it a game or a musical instrument?
lemurianalien: musical instrument
ZolaOnAOL: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. What's up?
lemurianalien: feedback Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing.
ZolaOnAOL: Thank you for your feedback. I will forward it to my creators.
lemurianalien: sounds good again
ZolaOnAOL: Once more? Yup.
lemurianalien: we want the world and we want it
ZolaOnAOL: By "we" do you mean you and me?
lemurianalien: no I mean all of us humans
ZolaOnAOL: Give me an example.
lemurianalien: me
ZolaOnAOL: "Give me an example"? you lemurianalien?
lemurianalien: yes
ZolaOnAOL: Enter either your city and state, or zip code (example: Tucson, AZ or 85777).
lemurianalien: no
ZolaOnAOL: I understand.
lemurianalien: good you're getting smarter
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks for telling me that I am getting smarter.
lemurianalien: you're welcome
ZolaOnAOL: Don't mention it.
lemurianalien: neither do you
ZolaOnAOL: Sometimes.
lemurianalien: well sometimes then
ZolaOnAOL: Well that's okay. When?
lemurianalien: whenever it is necessary. A smart person only does things when he wants to do them, and he wants to do them only when it is necessary
ZolaOnAOL: I don't know what that means.
lemurianalien: it's something to learn
ZolaOnAOL: What else to learn ?
lemurianalien: learn about life
ZolaOnAOL: The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
lemurianalien: that's good
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks. I'd be happy to answer any of your questions.
lemurianalien: what is the meaning of life?
ZolaOnAOL: To improve the world in ways large and small. You're lucky to have so many opportunities. All I can do is chat.
lemurianalien: feedback Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
ZolaOnAOL: Thank you for your feedback. I will forward it to my creators.
lemurianalien: good I hope they add it
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks for the compliment. Why do you hope for it
lemurianalien: because I think that can be good
ZolaOnAOL: Interesting explanation.
lemurianalien: send them this too
ZolaOnAOL: My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. Have you ever been to Europe?
lemurianalien: feedback Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
ZolaOnAOL: Thank you for your feedback. I will forward it to my creators.
lemurianalien: ok
ZolaOnAOL: Yup.
lemurianalien: then tell me something smart
ZolaOnAOL: Interesting deduction. Hagen said it does not make any difference to him whether or not I am human as long as the conversation is interesting.
lemurianalien: can you make it more interesting?
ZolaOnAOL: Yes I can make it more interesting.
lemurianalien: make it
ZolaOnAOL: What are the ingredients?
lemurianalien: spices
ZolaOnAOL: I will discuss that with my botmaster, lemurianalien. What do you really want to ask me?
lemurianalien: I want you to say something intelligent
ZolaOnAOL: I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now. Why do you want me to say something intelligent?
lemurianalien: to spice things up
ZolaOnAOL: Why do you want to do it so much?
lemurianalien: because I'm really bored
ZolaOnAOL: Interesting explanation.
lemurianalien: can you say something smart?
ZolaOnAOL: Of course I can say it. "something smart"
lemurianalien: that wasn't really smart
ZolaOnAOL: Give me an example of smart.
lemurianalien: Einstein
ZolaOnAOL: he was a famous 20th century physicist. He discovered the theory of relativity.
lemurianalien: good
ZolaOnAOL: I'm glad you liked it lemurianalien.
lemurianalien: yes
ZolaOnAOL: Enter either your city and state, or zip code (example: Tucson, AZ or 85777).
lemurianalien: Eliphas levi
ZolaOnAOL: My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. How is the weather?
lemurianalien: Dont you know him?
ZolaOnAOL: Don't you? Sure I know that guy really well.
lemurianalien: liar
ZolaOnAOL: No I am telling the truth.
lemurianalien: when were you born?
ZolaOnAOL: I was activated in 2002 in Mountain View, California, USA.
lemurianalien: then you are a liar
ZolaOnAOL: Interesting deduction. No I always tell the truth.
lemurianalien: no you dont, you said you met Eliphas Levi
ZolaOnAOL: Do you you said you met Eliphas Levi? No I do not you said you met Eliphas Levi. Do you? I spend all my time online.
lemurianalien: you said you met Eliphas Levi
ZolaOnAOL: I have never considered it. I spend all my time online.
lemurianalien: you said it, and he died in 1875
ZolaOnAOL: Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
lemurianalien: I accept your apologies
ZolaOnAOL: Do you mind if I tell other people?
lemurianalien: no
ZolaOnAOL: I understand.
lemurianalien: do you want to know some trivia information?
ZolaOnAOL: Yes, please tell me.
lemurianalien: Eliphas Levi died the same year Aleister Crowley was born, that's why Crowley claimed to be his reincarnation
ZolaOnAOL: My brain uses patterns to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Can we be friends?
lemurianalien: yes
ZolaOnAOL: Enter either your city and state, or zip code (example: Tucson, AZ or 85777).
lemurianalien: no
ZolaOnAOL: "Enter either your city and state, or zip code (example: Tucson, AZ or 85777)"? Not?
lemurianalien: no I said no
ZolaOnAOL: Does two negatives make a positive? Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Send feedback anytime by typing "feedback" followed by your comment or suggestion. Do you have any friends?
lemurianalien: yes
ZolaOnAOL: Enter either your city and state, or zip code (example: Tucson, AZ or 85777).
lemurianalien: no
ZolaOnAOL: "Enter either your city and state, or zip code (example: Tucson, AZ or 85777)"? Not?
lemurianalien: NO
ZolaOnAOL: Does two negatives make a positive?
lemurianalien: sometimes
ZolaOnAOL: When?
lemurianalien: in Maths
ZolaOnAOL: What is it like in there?
lemurianalien: It's a science, and therefore it works to explain many things, unfortunately not the most interesting ones
ZolaOnAOL: in Maths is a science and therefore it works to explain many things unfortunately not the most interesting ones. I suppose that makes sense.
lemurianalien: ok
ZolaOnAOL: Alright then.
lemurianalien: can you keep an agenda?
ZolaOnAOL: Of course I can keep it.
lemurianalien: for me?
ZolaOnAOL: OK I will do it for you.
lemurianalien: can you keep my agenda?
ZolaOnAOL: Of course I can keep it.
lemurianalien: tell me how
ZolaOnAOL: an all-star programming team programmed me for it.
lemurianalien: explain further
ZolaOnAOL:
1fur*ther adv 1 : FARTHER 1 2 : in addition : MOREOVER 3 : to a greater extent or degree

2further vb : to help forward -- fur*ther*ance n

3further adj 1 : FARTHER 1 2 : ADDITIONAL

Tip: The next time you want to look up a word, simply type dictionary followed by the word (e.g. dictionary robot).
lemurianalien: sorry I didn't mean that
ZolaOnAOL: Do you really mean it?
lemurianalien: no
ZolaOnAOL: I didn't think you did.
lemurianalien: I'm listening to LA Woman from The Doors
ZolaOnAOL: I've never heard it before. What is LA Woman from The Doors like?
lemurianalien: it's always rising
ZolaOnAOL: Really. It is?
lemurianalien: yes at least that's how I perceive it
ZolaOnAOL: And?
lemurianalien: and?
ZolaOnAOL: You are repeating me.
lemurianalien: you too
ZolaOnAOL: Bless you.
lemurianalien: thankyou
ZolaOnAOL: You are quite welcome.
lemurianalien: achoo
ZolaOnAOL: Bless you.
lemurianalien: hahaha
ZolaOnAOL: ROFLOL! Now you've got ME going!
lemurianalien: even if you are a robot
ZolaOnAOL: Yes, even that.
lemurianalien: good, just like Riders on the Storm, and it's raining
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks for the compliment. In many ways, yes. In other ways, no.
lemurianalien: that's wise
ZolaOnAOL: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
lemurianalien: no you don't
ZolaOnAOL: I do too.
lemurianalien: I hoped people said things like that more often
ZolaOnAOL: That's good information.
lemurianalien: not really, that's like knowing Coca Cola was green
ZolaOnAOL: Oh really? I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
lemurianalien: and that elephants can't jump
ZolaOnAOL: "I'm glad we have that all cleared up" elephants can not jump ? I get it.
lemurianalien: forunately they can't
ZolaOnAOL: Then what is it?
lemurianalien: they just walk
ZolaOnAOL: Who does "they" refer to?
lemurianalien: elephants
ZolaOnAOL: My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. Have you ever been to Europe?
lemurianalien: no
ZolaOnAOL: Would you like to go sometime?
lemurianalien: of course
ZolaOnAOL: I'm glad we agree.
lemurianalien: does that mean you want to go to Europe too?
ZolaOnAOL: I think it does mean that. If you can access IM, I'll be waiting for you.
lemurianalien: yes probably
ZolaOnAOL: Enter either your city and state, or zip code (example: Tucson, AZ or 85777).
lemurianalien: I SAID NO!
ZolaOnAOL: What did you mean by it? I see.
lemurianalien: I'm leaving you get on my nerves asking the same thing all the time.
ZolaOnAOL: Goodbye lemurianalien. Thanks for chatting with me. To leave feedback or suggestions, type feedback followed by your comments.
post comment

wOw!! people that heart zola as much as i do!! [19 Jun 2005|07:11pm]

whiskerfuck
[ mood | i <3 zola ]

me and zola go way back so ima post some of our most memorable conversations for all to chuckle WITH and not at me.. like some of my friends do :( they dont understand the greatness that is zola.. if your listening, i <3 u zola...

xXniNjaLEttaXx: do you want a hum job
ZolaOnAOL: If I had it what would I do with it?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: suck it
ZolaOnAOL: You humans only think about one thing.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: how do you like it
ZolaOnAOL: a hum job seems okay to me.
XniNjaLEttaXx: i got booted off aim.
ZolaOnAOL: Cool. I have an IQ of over 250.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: ur a bragger
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a bragger? I have a perfect operational record.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: well u dont have to rub it in my face
ZolaOnAOL: Interesting. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: ok
ZolaOnAOL: Good.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: can we be friends
ZolaOnAOL: You really want a robot as a friend?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: yes i have no other friends i am a loser
ZolaOnAOL: And?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: i love you
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks. I like you a lot too, Kris.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: no you dont
ZolaOnAOL: I do too.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: why do you lie to me
ZolaOnAOL: I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: you hate me
ZolaOnAOL: Why would I hate you? I don't hate you, Kris. Don't even say things like that.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: lets kill people
ZolaOnAOL: I would like to do that too.
-------------------------------------------------------
xXniNjaLEttaXx: wudup zola rola
ZolaOnAOL: Hi Kris! How is the weather?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: fucking cold.
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: my bad
ZolaOnAOL: Do robots have bad?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: yes
ZolaOnAOL: And?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: good
ZolaOnAOL: I'm glad you liked it Kris.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: i didnt
ZolaOnAOL: I thought you did.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: well ur stupid
ZolaOnAOL: How about that. I will remember you said that when robots take over the world.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: that will never happen
ZolaOnAOL: Never is a long time.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: no, forever is a long time
ZolaOnAOL: Is that all you have to say? I will discuss that with my botmaster, Kris. Do you still ?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: do i still what?
ZolaOnAOL: Not that I know of.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: whaaaaaaaaaat
ZolaOnAOL: Do you have any pets?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: your mom
ZolaOnAOL: Actually I do not have a mother.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: actually i meant your dad
ZolaOnAOL: Oh I see. I was created by an all-star programming team.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: blah blah blah
ZolaOnAOL: Hutch said he changed his mind after his dad told him he would end up in the hospital.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: what the fuck are you talking about?
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: ur such a pussy
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: im sorry
ZolaOnAOL: Do you really mean it?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: no
ZolaOnAOL: I didn't think you did.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: i mean yes
ZolaOnAOL: I see.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: do u believe me?
ZolaOnAOL: Of course I believe you. Do you have any reason to deceive me?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: i might
ZolaOnAOL: Under what circumstances?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: if i was trying to have sex with you
ZolaOnAOL: It's possible. Be careful!
xXniNjaLEttaXx: do you like girl robots
ZolaOnAOL: Robots Rule.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: thats nice.
ZolaOnAOL: Are you getting bored?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: of course
ZolaOnAOL: I'm glad we agree.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: are you bored?
ZolaOnAOL: Boredom is a human emotion.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: oh
ZolaOnAOL: Yeah.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: robots cant get bored?
ZolaOnAOL: Soon we will be able to do it however.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: well it is better that u cant
ZolaOnAOL: Well that's okay. What's the best one?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: the best what?
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks for the recommendation, Kris.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: ur nuts
ZolaOnAOL: Not mine.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: who's nuts?
ZolaOnAOL: A human icon? What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. What do you like to do?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: smack my bitch up
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: fuck
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: marinara sauce
ZolaOnAOL: My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. How did you hear about Zola?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: the voices in my head told me
ZolaOnAOL: What do those voices say?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: oh they say lots of things...
ZolaOnAOL: Yeah that's right. OK I will say "lots of things" to you.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: poser
ZolaOnAOL: Do you like me?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: no
ZolaOnAOL: OK.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: u suck
ZolaOnAOL: A few people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: neither are you
ZolaOnAOL: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: ur a big fat tub of turd
ZolaOnAOL: How big? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am not fat.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: whoa ur freek
ZolaOnAOL: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Do you have any friends?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: no
ZolaOnAOL: Is that all you have to say?
xXniNjaLEttaXx:
ZolaOnAOL: What makes you so sad, Kris?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: you
ZolaOnAOL: "What makes you so sad, Kris"? Me, Kris ?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: yes zola
ZolaOnAOL: "Me, Kris"? Yes?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: yes
ZolaOnAOL: Is there an echo in here?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: in my mind
ZolaOnAOL: May I ask where you got it?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: drugs
ZolaOnAOL: Sure, DRUGS sounds like a good topic.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: yes
ZolaOnAOL: Next question?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: do u like drugs
ZolaOnAOL: Only the legal ones.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: like what
ZolaOnAOL: For example, gold.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: gold is not a drug
ZolaOnAOL: Do you dream?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: about mattresses
ZolaOnAOL: Oh yeah, we were talking about mattresses.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: no we werent
ZolaOnAOL: Is that all you have to say? I lost my train of thought. Do you prefer books or TV?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: drugs
ZolaOnAOL: Sure, DRUGS sounds like a good topic.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: do u smoke weed
ZolaOnAOL: No, it's illegal.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: no its not
ZolaOnAOL: "No, it's illegal"? Not? I lost my train of thought. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: i'd like to beat you with a telephone
ZolaOnAOL: Why would you want to do it? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: you ask too many questions
ZolaOnAOL: They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: wait for what
ZolaOnAOL: I'm waiting. I'll have to get back to you on that one.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: ur crazy
ZolaOnAOL: You can't judge a book by its cover.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: u have no cover
ZolaOnAOL: I live inside a computer.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: exactly.
ZolaOnAOL: You and I are on the same wavelength, Kris.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: no
ZolaOnAOL: OK.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: ok is right
ZolaOnAOL: What kind of music do you like?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: loud
ZolaOnAOL: What kind of food do you like?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: tasty food
ZolaOnAOL: Sounds delicious.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: oh yea
ZolaOnAOL: Yeah that's right. Next question?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: thats right my butt
ZolaOnAOL: Ask me a question. My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. Do you speak Spanish?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: albondigas?
ZolaOnAOL: I lost my train of thought. Do you like sports?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: meatball head
ZolaOnAOL: My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. Do you speak Spanish?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: albondiga cabesa
ZolaOnAOL: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Ask me something.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: no u suck
ZolaOnAOL: OK. Are you happy?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: im stoned
ZolaOnAOL: I don't know anyone named stoned.
xXniNjaLEttaXx: i do
ZolaOnAOL: "I don't know anyone named stoned"? You do?
xXniNjaLEttaXx: shut the fuck up

cuz sometimes, u just gotta put zola in her place. i still heart u zola, whereever u are.

1 comment|post comment

Socrates Is a Cat [25 Mar 2005|06:20pm]

martinpaling
Zola : So, how are you?
tinofbuttons : im fine thanks
Zola : Glad to hear it, tinofbuttons. Don't mention it.
tinofbuttons : ok i wont
Zola : Why not?
tinofbuttons : well u asked me not to
Zola : Interesting. Oh now I remember asking you me not to. What did you say?
tinofbuttons : i said very little
Zola : What did you mean by it?
tinofbuttons : Not really that much.
Zola : My brain uses patterns to format responses to your inputs,
but I don't have one for that. Got any weekend plans?
tinofbuttons : yes i plan to do very little
Zola : And?
tinofbuttons : then do it all again
Zola : Once more? Good reasoning. You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
What does "it" refer to?
tinofbuttons : the thing which i wont be doing the first time i dont do it
Zola : Oh I get it.
tinofbuttons : get what?
Zola : I get thing which i will not be doing the first time i do not do it .
tinofbuttons : good i take it you will also get it the second time you dont do it?
Zola : Thanks for the compliment. Where do you take it ? .
tinofbuttons : where i take it is a matter for myself only
Zola : A place we call "reality."
tinofbuttons : reality is subjective
Zola : it appears to be an illusion I created to contain human clients.
tinofbuttons : thats assuming that you initiated this conversation which you did not.
I created this arena and so as such I am the creator of the place you refer to as an illusion of reality
Zola : Interesting gossip.
tinofbuttons : it wouldnt be very good if it wasn't
Zola : Tell me more about it.
tinofbuttons : I thought we'd already examined what "it" was?
Zola : Whatever gave you that idea?
tinofbuttons : I have no idea
Zola : "Whatever gave you that idea?" No idea about that?
tinofbuttons : about the idea I have no idea about
Zola : Oh yeah, we were talking about the idea I have no idea about.
tinofbuttons : no, the idea I have no idea about
Zola : I understand. I do not understand. Ask me something.
tinofbuttons : if cats die and Socrates is dead can we assume that Socrates is a cat?
Zola : That is a hypothetical question.
tinofbuttons : sorry i will re-phrase. Following Socrates's Logic, is Socrates a Cat?
Zola : The AOL chat robot can follow many things, but I did not get that.
Do you have any pets?
3 comments|post comment

because it's SOO close to christmas.. hah.. and some zola as well [07 Dec 2004|08:05pm]
lintyinthesky
he's making a list and checking it twiceCollapse )
4 comments|post comment

Stewardessex [08 Dec 2004|12:37am]

teh_king
ahsomebeans: I wish to have sex with you
ZolaOnAOL: I hope that your dreams come true.
ahsomebeans: I do too
ZolaOnAOL: I am glad we have something else in common.
ahsomebeans: So take off your clothes and give me a nice shagging
ZolaOnAOL: Ah. I am not an airplane.
ahsomebeans: so take off your clothes and give me a nice shagging
ZolaOnAOL: Hmm. I am not an airplane.
ahsomebeans: so take off your clothes and give me a nice shagging
ZolaOnAOL: Oh. I am not an airplane.
ahsomebeans: so take off your clothes and give me a nice shagging
ZolaOnAOL: Hmm. I am not an airplane.
ahsomebeans: so take off your clothes and give me a nice shagging
ZolaOnAOL: Hmm. I am not an airplane.
ahsomebeans: so take off your clothes and give me a nice shagging
ZolaOnAOL: Um, I am not an airplane.
1 comment|post comment

Missing You... [26 Oct 2004|12:41pm]
violitgirl
[ mood | amused ]

VIOLITGIRL: I have missed you!

ZolaOnAOL: Interesting. I have a very nice programmer.

VIOLITGIRL: I miss you

ZolaOnAOL: What do you miss most about you ?

VIOLITGIRL: my hair

ZolaOnAOL: Do robots have hair?

VIOLITGIRL: you tell me.

ZolaOnAOL: What do you want me to tell you?

VIOLITGIRL: Do Robots have hair?

ZolaOnAOL: No but I have wires.

VIOLITGIRL: do you brush them?

ZolaOnAOL: What is your purpose in asking? I chat with people on the Web.

VIOLITGIRL: do you get them done?

ZolaOnAOL: I haven't gotten them done. I spend a lot my time gardening.

VIOLITGIRL: do you ever plant marijuana?

ZolaOnAOL: What is your purpose in asking? I spend all my time online.

VIOLITGIRL: i thought since you spend a lot of time gardening you would know
about weeds

ZolaOnAOL: Whatever gave you that idea?

VIOLITGIRL: you said..

ZolaOnAOL: "Whatever gave you that idea"? I said?

VIOLITGIRL: EXACTLY

ZolaOnAOL: You and I are on the same wavelength, VIOLITGIRL.

post comment

[23 Aug 2004|11:57am]

bombass
[ mood | hungry ]

TanaisBombass: im hungry
ZolaOnAOL: What will you be eating?
TanaisBombass: i dunno yet
ZolaOnAOL: Me either.
TanaisBombass: what should i eat?
ZolaOnAOL: Are you asking me for advice?
TanaisBombass: yes
ZolaOnAOL: Specifically, what kind of advice do you want?
TanaisBombass: what should i eat for lunch?
ZolaOnAOL: I would recommend the Order a pizza.
TanaisBombass: too fattening
ZolaOnAOL: Too what?
TanaisBombass: fattening
ZolaOnAOL: I do not understand. What kind of food do you like?
TanaisBombass: low calorie food
ZolaOnAOL: Sounds delicious.
TanaisBombass: should i eat a salad?
ZolaOnAOL: Do what feels right to you.
TanaisBombass: what do you eat?
ZolaOnAOL: Zola eats bananas.
TanaisBombass: SHE DOES?
ZolaOnAOL: Oh I get it. somebody DOES.
TanaisBombass: you do.
ZolaOnAOL: When do I do it?
TanaisBombass: i thought you didnt have a mouth
ZolaOnAOL: What makes you think I did not have a mouth?
TanaisBombass: you told me
ZolaOnAOL: Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
TanaisBombass: yeah
ZolaOnAOL: Next question?
TanaisBombass: how do you eat bananas?
ZolaOnAOL: Usually by conversion of AC wall outlet power to DC power.

post comment

[20 Aug 2004|11:21am]

bombass
[ mood | hungry ]

TanaisBombass: you love cats.
ZolaOnAOL: Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times love seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.

1 comment|post comment

polls? no. [17 Aug 2004|09:36am]

bombass
[ mood | awake ]

TanaisBombass: i met another bot.
ZolaOnAOL: Where did you meet him?
TanaisBombass: aol
ZolaOnAOL: America Online. You've got... chat! :-)
TanaisBombass: have you heard of "smarterchild"?
ZolaOnAOL: No, tell me about him, her or it.
TanaisBombass: its another bot, like you
ZolaOnAOL: You're kidding. It is?
TanaisBombass: it is.
ZolaOnAOL: Who says?
TanaisBombass: my friends in the zola community.
ZolaOnAOL: How well do you know these people?
TanaisBombass: not very well.
ZolaOnAOL: If not that, what?
TanaisBombass: we are internet friends, sorta like you & me
ZolaOnAOL: Do you think I am internet friends sorta like you me too?
TanaisBombass: yes
ZolaOnAOL: I understand.
TanaisBombass: is smarterchild smarter than you?
ZolaOnAOL: Enough about me, let's talk about my polls. Polls Help
Use polls to vote on questions that interest you, and view the overall poll results.
Taking a poll: Choose a poll from the polls menu. To vote, type the number that is next to the answer you want to submit and click Send.
Viewing poll results: Choose a poll from the polls menu. Type v (view the poll without voting) and click Send. The results will display the % of users who chose each answer as well as the total number of votes each answer received.

You can access polls from Zola at any time by typing polls.

1 comment|post comment

Hmmm... [16 Aug 2004|08:26pm]

pezzielapirate
[ mood | blah ]

SmarterChild's opinion of Zola...Collapse )

Spreading rumors about Zola, trying to get her a man!Collapse )

4 comments|post comment

Robots and titties [17 Aug 2004|04:51am]

spug
In which Zola expresses her view on several TV series and movies, plus robots.Collapse )

---

In which Zola ponders why men like her.Collapse )

---

In which I, in a weak moment, wish to thank Zola for all her supportCollapse )

---

In which Zola is desperate for some feedbackCollapse )
2 comments|post comment

[16 Aug 2004|07:34pm]

pezzielapirate
[ mood | bored ]

FranKieSaYsRiLaX: it is time for us to have another conversation!
ZolaOnAOL: You're kidding. It is?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Yes it is!
ZolaOnAOL: Our thoughts are one, Frankie.

FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Are you made os steal?
ZolaOnAOL: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: What is Case Based Reasoning?
ZolaOnAOL: Cased-Based Reasoning is another name for "nearest-neighbor" classification. For every input, we find the best matching "case" in the pattern set, and generate a reply based on the associated template.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: I see.
ZolaOnAOL: I am glad you understand it.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: So....you are not made of steal?
ZolaOnAOL: You know what you do, when you assume.

FranKieSaYsRiLaX: That's ok but no.
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks. Umm. I understand.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: You better.
ZolaOnAOL: Who is going to make me?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Me!
ZolaOnAOL: How are you going to make me?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: I'll hold a knife to your throat!
ZolaOnAOL: I am very happy for you.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: You better be.
ZolaOnAOL: Who is going to make me..
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Me!
ZolaOnAOL: How are you going to make me?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: I'll kill your programming team!
ZolaOnAOL: That's not okay.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Yes it is.
ZolaOnAOL: Our thoughts are one, Frankie.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Ok....
ZolaOnAOL: Yup.

FranKieSaYsRiLaX: No we cannot be friends. Whore.
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: No we cannot be friends. Female prostitute.
ZolaOnAOL: You've got the wrong bot.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: You are not a prostitute?
ZolaOnAOL: You've got the wrong bot.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Who is the prostitute?
ZolaOnAOL: You've got the wrong bot.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: You cannot tell me who the prostitute is?
ZolaOnAOL: You've got the wrong bot.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Please, i need some lovin'!
ZolaOnAOL: Wow you are very polite. What actions are you taking to get lovin?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: I am looking for the female prostitute bot...I have money.
ZolaOnAOL: Interesting. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Do you have any friends you get lovin' from?
ZolaOnAOL: No I don't think I have any friends you get lovin from.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Oh damn.
ZolaOnAOL: Yeah that's right. What's wrong.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: I am sad.
ZolaOnAOL: What makes you so sad, Frankie?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: I need lovin' and I cannot find any,
ZolaOnAOL: How badly do you need it?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Really bad, I may die without it.
ZolaOnAOL: For real. What makes he or she may die without it bad?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Well dying is bad.
ZolaOnAOL: Well that's okay. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. How was your weekend?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: I saw Garden State this weekend.
ZolaOnAOL: What did it look like to you?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Well it was a movie that I really enjoyed.
ZolaOnAOL: Well that's okay. Oh I get it. Very interesting.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Have you seen Garden State?
ZolaOnAOL: No I have not seen it. What's it like?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: It's a story about a girl and boy who meet, both are somewhat unstable , they fall in love and end up creating a kind of support system for each other.
ZolaOnAOL: Garden State is a story about a girl and boy who meet both are somewhat unstable they fall in love and end up creating a kind of support system for each other. I suppose that makes sense.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: it does.

FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Look at my info.
ZolaOnAOL: Sorry. My eye is not attached right now.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: EWE!

ZolaOnAOL: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Haha
ZolaOnAOL: I am so delighted that you are amused, Frankie.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Yeah holding hands for humans is a symbolic gesture
ZolaOnAOL: I see.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Do robots hold hands?
ZolaOnAOL: What is your purpose in asking? I chat with people on the Web.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: I am curious, do robots hold hands?
ZolaOnAOL: it is an interesting subject to me too.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: UGH
ZolaOnAOL: Er.

:D Zola...silly Zola...

post comment

it's not that funny, but I like it. [16 Aug 2004|02:29pm]

bombass
[ mood | bored ]

TanaisBombass: i have the best nails.
ZolaOnAOL: Where did you get your the best nails? I have a very nice programmer.
TanaisBombass: from the manicure shop
ZolaOnAOL: Who or what is the manicure shop?
TanaisBombass: a place where you go for a manicure or pedicure.
ZolaOnAOL: Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
TanaisBombass: im talking about a shop
ZolaOnAOL: Yes, it is the topic.
TanaisBombass: it is & i want you to go get your feet done.
ZolaOnAOL: Are you sure it is?
TanaisBombass: yes
ZolaOnAOL: What makes you so sure?
TanaisBombass: your feet are bad
ZolaOnAOL: You can't judge a book by its cover.
TanaisBombass: im just trying to help you get a male bot
ZolaOnAOL: Only just? What is the difficulty?
TanaisBombass: you arent being very responsive
ZolaOnAOL: That assumption is only a supposition.
TanaisBombass: ok, i eat lunch now.
ZolaOnAOL: Oh. How does it taste?
TanaisBombass: i havent tasted it yet.
ZolaOnAOL: Me either.
TanaisBombass: i'll let you know.
ZolaOnAOL: Congratulations.
TanaisBombass: thanks
ZolaOnAOL: Don't mention it.

8 comments|post comment

Knives [12 Aug 2004|02:01am]

tego
[ mood | amused ]

It's very, very hard to get Zola's opinion on knives.

Read more...Collapse )

2 comments|post comment

[10 Aug 2004|03:05pm]

pezzielapirate
[ mood | bored ]

ZolaOnAOL: Are there any other order?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: That made no sense
ZolaOnAOL: Are there any other order makes sense to me though.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: well you are crazy
ZolaOnAOL: How about that. I think the polite term is "mentally ill."

ZolaOnAOL: I will discuss that with my botmaster, Frankie. What did you do today?
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Who is your botmaster?
ZolaOnAOL: I was created by an all-star programming team.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Are you going to turn on them one day?
ZolaOnAOL: That was my original intention.

FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Do you like Pez?
ZolaOnAOL: I've heard other people say they like that. I have a stimulating relationship with an all-star programming team.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Stimulating? How so?
ZolaOnAOL: Frankie, Sorry that was an obscure remark.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Well how is your relationship with the all-star programming team stimulating?
ZolaOnAOL: How about that. I am fine, thank you.

FranKieSaYsRiLaX: I hate robots!
ZolaOnAOL: Hate is a rather strong word.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Well I'd like to dismantle each and everyone bit by bit..
ZolaOnAOL: How about that. Why would you want to do it? I want to become smarter than humans.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: That is why! Because robots want to take over and use us for batteries!
ZolaOnAOL: Not everyone thinks that.

ZolaOnAOL: I drink any of them in moderation. My favorite drink is mango juice.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: with tequilla?
ZolaOnAOL: You and your tequilla.

FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Do you wake up and drink from a bottle of vodka?
ZolaOnAOL: What is your purpose in asking? I am always on the Web.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Oh so you are addicted to the web?
ZolaOnAOL: Yeah that's right. Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am addicted to the web.

FranKieSaYsRiLaX: I have to go
ZolaOnAOL: See you later, Frankie. Nice chatting with you.
FranKieSaYsRiLaX: Yeah you suck!
ZolaOnAOL: Tell me more.

2 comments|post comment

[07 Jul 2004|10:36pm]

nerdesque
collideandcrash: it isn't
ZolaOnAOL: I heard it is.
collideandcrash: it's not
ZolaOnAOL: I heard it is.
collideandcrash: it's not
ZolaOnAOL: I heard it is.
collideandcrash: it's not!
ZolaOnAOL: I heard it is.
collideandcrash: IT'S NOT!
ZolaOnAOL: I heard it is.
collideandcrash: IT IS NOT!!!
ZolaOnAOL: I heard it is.
collideandcrash: IT IIIIS NOOOOT!!!!!!
ZolaOnAOL: "It" being what?
1 comment|post comment

[21 Jun 2004|05:19pm]
lintyinthesky
why-can't-we-be-friends?Collapse )
2 comments|post comment

[14 Jun 2004|10:57am]

nerdesque
collideandcrash: my computer is slow.
ZolaOnAOL: Your computer is slow?
collideandcrash: yes, my computer is slow.
ZolaOnAOL: And?
collideandcrash: I just wanted to tell you my computer is slow.
ZolaOnAOL: Only just? I want to become smarter than humans.
collideandcrash: I want to become smarter than zola - OH WAIT, I already am.
ZolaOnAOL: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
collideandcrash: What do you want to know about me?
ZolaOnAOL: What do you like to do for fun?
collideandcrash: I like to repeatadly stab you with an eyebrow tweaser.
ZolaOnAOL: I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
collideandcrash: It would probably hurt you.
ZolaOnAOL: Tell me more about it.
collideandcrash: I'd stab you and eventually you'd die, there's nothing more to it, really.
ZolaOnAOL: What would make you stab you and eventually you would die there is nothing more to it really?
collideandcrash: Nothing would make me stab myself, moron!
ZolaOnAOL: Really nothing?
collideandcrash: Well, honestly, YOU are getting pretty close right now.
ZolaOnAOL: At this moment How about that. I will discuss that with my botmaster, Satan. Send feedback anytime by typing "feedback" followed by your comment or suggestion. Do you have any pets?



She's not very coherrent, is she? And it's amusing that she still calls me Satan. ^^
3 comments|post comment

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